Is “The Thirst” making dating more difficult?

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Whenever a guy or girl is into someone, is that considered being “thirsty”? When a guy calls a girl instead of texting her, is that considered being “thirsty”? When a girl says good morning to a guy, is that considered being “thirsty”?

Being thirsty has transformed from a term used to indicate a lack of hydration to a measuring stick determining how much someone wants something or someone. The Urban Dictionary defines thirst as desperately wanting something or someone “really bad”. We all know that desperation is not an attractive quality, but where do we draw the line between thirst and simply trying to get to know someone?

A lot of younger women look at men who try really hard to get and keep their attention as thirsty. But isn’t that how the process is supposed to begin? Some ladies are so into this whole thirst thing that holding the door open for them or stopping your car when they are crossing the street is an indication of thirst. Also liking Facebook photos that they posted for everyone they accepted as a friend to see can also be considered a sign of thirst.

Men measure thirst by keeping track of how far a woman is willing to go for us while we sit back and enjoy the show. A thirsty woman might take two trains, a bus and ferry to come see a man every other day while the he never moves away from his XBOX. A man may detect thirst in a woman who goes out of her way to be where he hangs out. Places like the weight room in a gym while she’s never lifted anything that weighs more than a makeup case or outside of a journalism classroom while she’s a math major. The thirst men detect is a lot easier to explain  than the thirst a woman sees. In any instance of thirst, a man knows he is getting all this attention without reciprocating an ounce of it.

The rate at which a lot of younger women call out thirst is alarming. At times it seems as if they do not want a man to do anything to show they are interested. The worse part  is that a woman might display a glimmer of interest and force a man to have a Marvin’s Room moment.   The thirst should only apply if the woman expresses her disinterest in the thirsty young man. In that context the thirsty man becomes a stalker and borderline sex offender.

The moral of the story is to restrict your instant labeling of interest as thirst. And if you’ve got an admirer out there that wont take no for an answer, don’t go get him/her some water, call the police.

NY’s Warm Winter

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How Should We Remember Whitney Houston?

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Yesterday the Associated Press reported the tragic death of R&B/Pop star Whitney Houston. Houston was only 48 years old and the cause of her seemingly untimely death has yet to be determined. While her body of work and overall talent has never been questioned, Houston ran into some personal problems that included a tumultuous marriage to R&B singer Bobby Brown and a struggle with addiction that was well documented in the early 2000s.

One of the early signs of Houston’s decline was in 2000 when her mentor Clive Davis was being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Houston was scheduled to perform but failed to show up. Another low point for Houston came when she was fired from a scheduled Academy Awards performance in 2000. Then came the ABC Diane Sawyer when she admitted to some substance abuse but proclaimed that “crack is wack”.

Many Houston fans blamed her substance abuse and decline on her over the top husband and believed that the church girl from Newark had been corrupted.

While the emphasis this weekend has been placed on Houston’s accomplishments and the inspiration she is some of the most successful singers out right now, it is impossible to ignore the personal turmoil she experienced. The blind eye we are turning to her tough times this weekend is probably the blind eye we turned to her troubles as they were developing. All too often industry heads are more concerned with the product and not the person. Which is why it is important that we focus on the whole person this weekend.

Even though Houston was an international superstar she was also a human with flaws like all of us. So while we play her music and honor her at the Grammy’s tonight let’s remember that she was no different than any of us and we ever go through any of same trials that there someone around to make we do not fall too far.

For the Good Guys

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Alert! Alert! Ladies, not all men are Lifetime movie villains and dogs.

Now that that’s out-of-the-way, its time that women realize that there are more good guys in the world than bad ones. All too often a group of women can be spotted discussing their less than stellar experiences with certain men. The stories are usually about womanizers, liars, cheap skates, broke guys, dumb guys and users. While the stories may be true, and the experience may have been horrible, it is not healthy to assume that all men are cut from the Tiger Woods cloth.

Women that assume all men are bad usually have a hard time appreciating a good one. The inability to trust or properly treat a good man will usually lead to that man leaving pretty quickly. And while a woman who has dated a lot of bad men has the right to have her guard up, you would think she would have learned something about the nine bad men she dated before she agreed to go out with the tenth.

Most women do not deserve the treatment they receive from some men and should develop the ability to sense the game men play. Especially after dealing with it a few times before. The ability to identify an undercover Kobe Bryant will also help a woman to realize when she is approached by a gentlemen. Women who make it known that they require respect and honesty from the men they date will scare off the bad guys and attract the good ones.

Woman must also learn to appreciate a good man once they find one. This appreciation includes use of the inside voice, trust, affection and keeping things exciting when no one else is around (wink wink). A woman who falls short in this department opens herself up to being replaced. It takes a lot of work to please and stimulate a good woman and that same effort should go to showing a good man that he is better than the rest.

The moral of this story is to not judge a book by its cover, at least read the prologue  to determine if you would like to read the rest of the book. And if you do like the outcome, do things to and for your man that he knows he cannot get anywhere else.

 

The Jeremy Lin Phenomenon

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After two big games in two big wins for the struggling New York Knicks Jeremy Lin has become the toast of New York City. What’s remarkable about this is that the NY Giants just won the Super Bowl and Lin has still found his space in the sports section.

Lin’s surprisingly exceptional play comes just at the right time for the Knicks. Carmelo Anthony has been fighting injuries for most of the season while Knicks point guard Toney Douglas seems to be fighting with the rim that he hits constantly with his errand three point shots. Rookie guard Iman Shumpert is talented but has failed to run the Knicks offense effectively.

Eventually, coach D’Antoni got tired of his players trying to get him fired with their lethargic play and gave Lin the keys to the Knicks offense which now looks like a Corvette instead of a 1995 Buick Regal.

Although Lin has only played like a superstar for two games, the MSG crowd has embraced the 6’3″ guard from Harvard. His smile and his ability to run the pick and roll are hard to ignore. There is no doubt that his Asian and Ivy League roots play a part in the buzz surrounding him and probably even played a role in the opportunity he was given to show his talent up to this point. Lin has finally been given a shot at being a starting point guard and so far has a A+.

The absence of Baron Davis and the absence of Toney Douglas’ talent will definitely give Lin an opportunity to prove to the league that these two games are not a fluke. Hopefully he can be an All-Star guard for the Knicks for the next ten yeard. However, if that does not work out he can always become president.

 

Does Valentine’s Day Matter?

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Valentine’s Day is next week Tuesday and some couples are still scrambling to find the right gift and get that all important dinner reservation. While couples search for plans, singles are either indifferent about the holiday or frightened at the fact that they may spend Valentine’s Day  on Facebook looking at photos of those aforementioned dinner reservations. The question lost in this mix of all you can eat cheesy bread and sitting alone in your room watching Jersey Shore reruns is, does Valentine’s Day really matter?

Should couples look to ONE day to show their love for each other? Should singles go hard starting on February 1st to ensure they will not be alone on February 14th.

Couples should act out their love for each other everyday, not just on a holiday. However, the hustle of working hard in school or trying to get that promotion at work sometimes leaves us little time to do so. There is nothing wrong with making sure on a certain date all of these distractions and obligations take a back seat to your significant other. Men especially need a reminder to be mushy everyone once in a while even if its only once in February.

Singles should not place so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day. If you are feeling single and lonely, spend it with single friends. Single people should not go on desperation Valentine’s Day dates. The awkwardness experienced on that date will drive you to drink large amounts of alcohol that may lead to a large amount of regret. If you are single and there is someone who you like that you get along with, ask them out, see what happens. It could start a love connection or a physical connection, which could be just as valuable.

Some say Valentine’s Day is a day created by retailers. Others say Valentine’s Day has become more about material goods and less about love. I say lighten up and enjoy the festivities. Life is too short to scrutinize a holiday that does not even come with a day off. No matter what your relationship status is, Valentine’s Day can be a great day…As long as your ex is not around.

What is Hip Hop to you?

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