NBA off season survival guide

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When the NBA Finals end every June there is a void left on my television and in my life. After the Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat in six games to capture the NBA championship I was probably more hurt than the Heat. The reality of almost three months without the NBA (maybe more with a lockout) sunk in and so did depression. So what should a die hard NBA fan do to maintain his/her sanity during this offseason?

First, call up that woman who’s calls you have been ignoring and set up a date. She may be crazy, but she’ll remind you of Game 4 of the western conference semifinals when Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum lost their minds when they knew their elimination was inevitable.

Second, head over to the doctor’s office and get rid of that “cold” you caught when you were vacationing in Miami/Cancun/Dominican Republic. The waiting room may remind of the death row scenes in the Green Mile, but it will also remind of Michael Jordan scoring 38 points against the Utah Jazz in the 1997 finals while suffering from flu like symptoms.

Third, invite some friends over to play some video games. This get together may only be happening because every girl you called was “busy” that night, but it will remind you of Kobe Bryant’s video game-esque 81 point game against the Toronto Raptors in 2006.

Fourth, take your kids/nieces/nephews to the circus. The flying trapeze artists and elephant manure should be the shock to your system that helps keeps you awake through these few hard months. The unbelievable ability of the circus performers should also remind you of Vince Carter’s 2000 NBA All Star Weekend Dunk Contest performance. Still to the date it is the most amazing thing I have ever seen produced on a basketball court.

This guide should help you get through those NBA off season blues, until of course the lockout comes.

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