Love & Hip Hop: Relevant Edition

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I admit it, I’m a fan of ratchet reality. The first step in fixing a problem is admitting you have one. I am well aware of the drama and negative images that ratchet reality displays. But its just so damn entertaining!!!

Lately though, the plot lines and drama have become a little monotonous. The champagne throwing, hair pulling, parking lot fighting and unfaithful men/women in relationships can only stimulate my college educated mind for so long. The best cure for this fading reality show formula is to put people in these shows who are actually relevant.

The Love & Hip Hop: Relevant Edition (LHHRE) cast should include:

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 20: Beyonce (L) and Jay-Z attend the New Jersey Nets vs New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on February 20, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by James Devaney/FilmMagic)
(Photo by James Devaney/FilmMagic)

Jay Z & Beyonce: The most accomplished married couple in the history of hip hop should definitely be cast in the most relevant edition of ratchet reality. Cameras will follow around Jay and Bey as they sit at home and watch awards shows they are too good to attend. Also as we get a sneak peak into their home life, we get to find out how Blue Ivy really feels about the fact that her hair has never been combed. Finally, we get to see the conflict between Jay and Bey as Memphis Bleek spends one too many nights sleeping on the couch. Bleek tries to make it up to the Carters by making his famous Memphis meatloaf and babysitting Blue Ivy as Jay and Bey dance on a random beach.


Drake: The hottest artist in the industry lets us follow him around as his hotline bling’s and he coats his bread with truffle butter. Drake’s main story line will include his new goal of trying to bench press more than Serena Williams. Their relationship takes a turn for the worst when Serena catches Drake working out with Ronda Rousey as Worst Behavior plays in the background. The fight that ensues between Serena and Ronda rivals that of Iron Man and the Hulk. The ground shakes and buildings collapse. Drake tries to break up the fight but ends up with a horrible spinal injury that confines him to a wheel chair (sound familiar).

Rappers Fetty Wap poses on arrival for the 2015 MTV Movie Awards on April 12, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. AFP PHOTO / FREDERIC J. BROWN (Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
(Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

Fetty Wap: The New Jersey native with the permanent wink, lets us follow is meteoric rise in the hip hop industry. Fetty lets cast mate Beyonce help him find his Trap Queen after a lifetime of casual dating. On one of Fetty’s first blind dates (couldn’t help it) he is set up with Taylor Swift. Fetty and Swift connect instantly. Trap Luv ensues as the couple playfully argues over who’s song was number one on iTunes the longest. Unfortunately, like many ratchet reality relationships, Swift leaves Fetty when she finds out his eye has been wandering. Swift pops up unexpectedly at 1738 Trap Avenue and finds Fetty in bed with one of the girls from the Hotline Bling video.


Dej Loaf: The female version of Big Sean rounds out our cast. Dej will let us into her remarkable ability to rap off beat and still sell records. Deja is introduced to Lil Kim by Jay Z to help her find her way in the industry as a rising female star. The relationship sours when Dej spends the night drinking Hennessy and mistakes Kim for a human size cat like alien creature. Dej is brought back to reality by being shown pictures of Kim from 1996.

(Meek Mill and Nicki Minaj did not return phone calls to join the show once they discovered Drake had already been cast)

Is “The Thirst” making dating more difficult?

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Whenever a guy or girl is into someone, is that considered being “thirsty”? When a guy calls a girl instead of texting her, is that considered being “thirsty”? When a girl says good morning to a guy, is that considered being “thirsty”?

Being thirsty has transformed from a term used to indicate a lack of hydration to a measuring stick determining how much someone wants something or someone. The Urban Dictionary defines thirst as desperately wanting something or someone “really bad”. We all know that desperation is not an attractive quality, but where do we draw the line between thirst and simply trying to get to know someone?

A lot of younger women look at men who try really hard to get and keep their attention as thirsty. But isn’t that how the process is supposed to begin? Some ladies are so into this whole thirst thing that holding the door open for them or stopping your car when they are crossing the street is an indication of thirst. Also liking Facebook photos that they posted for everyone they accepted as a friend to see can also be considered a sign of thirst.

Men measure thirst by keeping track of how far a woman is willing to go for us while we sit back and enjoy the show. A thirsty woman might take two trains, a bus and ferry to come see a man every other day while the he never moves away from his XBOX. A man may detect thirst in a woman who goes out of her way to be where he hangs out. Places like the weight room in a gym while she’s never lifted anything that weighs more than a makeup case or outside of a journalism classroom while she’s a math major. The thirst men detect is a lot easier to explain  than the thirst a woman sees. In any instance of thirst, a man knows he is getting all this attention without reciprocating an ounce of it.

The rate at which a lot of younger women call out thirst is alarming. At times it seems as if they do not want a man to do anything to show they are interested. The worse part  is that a woman might display a glimmer of interest and force a man to have a Marvin’s Room moment.   The thirst should only apply if the woman expresses her disinterest in the thirsty young man. In that context the thirsty man becomes a stalker and borderline sex offender.

The moral of the story is to restrict your instant labeling of interest as thirst. And if you’ve got an admirer out there that wont take no for an answer, don’t go get him/her some water, call the police.

How Should We Remember Whitney Houston?

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Yesterday the Associated Press reported the tragic death of R&B/Pop star Whitney Houston. Houston was only 48 years old and the cause of her seemingly untimely death has yet to be determined. While her body of work and overall talent has never been questioned, Houston ran into some personal problems that included a tumultuous marriage to R&B singer Bobby Brown and a struggle with addiction that was well documented in the early 2000s.

One of the early signs of Houston’s decline was in 2000 when her mentor Clive Davis was being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Houston was scheduled to perform but failed to show up. Another low point for Houston came when she was fired from a scheduled Academy Awards performance in 2000. Then came the ABC Diane Sawyer when she admitted to some substance abuse but proclaimed that “crack is wack”.

Many Houston fans blamed her substance abuse and decline on her over the top husband and believed that the church girl from Newark had been corrupted.

While the emphasis this weekend has been placed on Houston’s accomplishments and the inspiration she is some of the most successful singers out right now, it is impossible to ignore the personal turmoil she experienced. The blind eye we are turning to her tough times this weekend is probably the blind eye we turned to her troubles as they were developing. All too often industry heads are more concerned with the product and not the person. Which is why it is important that we focus on the whole person this weekend.

Even though Houston was an international superstar she was also a human with flaws like all of us. So while we play her music and honor her at the Grammy’s tonight let’s remember that she was no different than any of us and we ever go through any of same trials that there someone around to make we do not fall too far.

For the Good Guys

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Alert! Alert! Ladies, not all men are Lifetime movie villains and dogs.

Now that that’s out-of-the-way, its time that women realize that there are more good guys in the world than bad ones. All too often a group of women can be spotted discussing their less than stellar experiences with certain men. The stories are usually about womanizers, liars, cheap skates, broke guys, dumb guys and users. While the stories may be true, and the experience may have been horrible, it is not healthy to assume that all men are cut from the Tiger Woods cloth.

Women that assume all men are bad usually have a hard time appreciating a good one. The inability to trust or properly treat a good man will usually lead to that man leaving pretty quickly. And while a woman who has dated a lot of bad men has the right to have her guard up, you would think she would have learned something about the nine bad men she dated before she agreed to go out with the tenth.

Most women do not deserve the treatment they receive from some men and should develop the ability to sense the game men play. Especially after dealing with it a few times before. The ability to identify an undercover Kobe Bryant will also help a woman to realize when she is approached by a gentlemen. Women who make it known that they require respect and honesty from the men they date will scare off the bad guys and attract the good ones.

Woman must also learn to appreciate a good man once they find one. This appreciation includes use of the inside voice, trust, affection and keeping things exciting when no one else is around (wink wink). A woman who falls short in this department opens herself up to being replaced. It takes a lot of work to please and stimulate a good woman and that same effort should go to showing a good man that he is better than the rest.

The moral of this story is to not judge a book by its cover, at least read the prologue  to determine if you would like to read the rest of the book. And if you do like the outcome, do things to and for your man that he knows he cannot get anywhere else.